Woof…Meow…Woof…

Sob.. sob… crazy godpa…

Wat is wrong with the human???

First godma bought me a cane . Sort of like, respect the authority. I thought they were kidding me. I sort of like it actually, you know, like hmm, playing the acting game. OOOO… I’m scared…

But, today, sob..sob.. Godpa hit me with that monster and with force… I only peed in the living room after Godma cleaned my poo there. I got whacked.

Animal Abuse!!!

Get me the phone, I’m going to call the Animal Aids. I’ll get you two into serious serious trouble. Hmmm…. wait… it’s going to take them 23 minutes to get here… somebody gonna get hurt real bad in that time… “quote from that uncle peter talk show – that got papa chan, godpa and all gone nuts”

Now i have to lay in bed for few days.. sob… sob..

I’ve been thinking lately.

Wat is the purpose of life?

My cat-dog life or dog-cat life seems to revolve around treats, ball-ball, food, play and sleep. Well, I do work somedays, rather most of the time as a guard, etc. But what is my purpose here on this earth? Baby doesn’t know as well. Why are we here?

Anyway, who cares… we are dogs. woof…

Baby came over last few days. I was a bit surprise when i saw godma carried baby back that night. How dare she… unscrupulously hugging baby in front of me… and godpa, patting baby too…My horns were out for two seconds.

They all went to sleep, thinking that me and baby will be fine together. But…
Baby, i dare you to pee and poo there.
Baby: ” Har, ooo… OK”

Baby, let’s check out the rubbish bin.
Baby: ” Har, ooo… OK”

Baby, Let’s play snow factory.
Baby: ” Har, ooo… OK”

That’s it. Both of us got punished. But, i got you… baby. Muah hahaha..

Godma, Godpa and Aunty YuePing are not feeling well these few days. She-devil blamed it on the hygiene. So she started cleaning the house, literally cleaning the house. The shoes rack, living room, godpa’s room and kitchen. she-devil’s room will be cleaned last as it’s the toughest of all. Hmm, i know what you mean.

“Momo, Here… In the cupboard. Arghhh.. There, on your left.. Momo, get them… Arghhh”
Drama was on in the kitchen, starring MC as the brave cockroach hunter, Godma as Freak-out she-devil and two unknown cockroach (didn’t manage to catch their name and they’re dead).

It was fun and funny. She-devil’s screaming and Godpa’s not in. MC came to rescue. KILL KILL KILL… All done, godma! I got 3 biscuits for that.

Remember to shout out for MC next time you see an unwanted. It only costs you 3 biscuits. *wink*

Yesterday, Godma and Godpa went off to cycle somewhere early in the morning. I was still recovering from the vet trauma, so i didn’t bother to say goodbye. Anyway, they came back in the afternoon. They looked tired and she-devil looked old. I decided it’s not the best time to tell them what i have done while they’re away, so i let them sleep. By the time they’re awake, it’s late dinner time. Godma, FOOD….. I’m starving…

“Let’s call for a pizza!”
Yeah, can i have the one with stuffed sausage? I heard it’s good. God, that’s my 7th wish. I know i know, i have another 3 more wishes to go, no worries.

“Pepperoni lover stuffed cheeze, please” No No No.. that’s a wrong order, godma.

Anyway, the tele-traffic to upthere is good today.
Wrong delivery, I got my stuffed sausage. Yippie yippie yippie…

Both Godpa and godma doesn’t like sausage, they love cheese. They got their replacement, in the end. I got to keep the sausage. Hehehehehe….

Papa Chan came over to help to clear food. He’s devilish, he has gotten the devil-spirit from she-devil. He offered me an extra. The deworm pill was in the sausage he gave me.

MURDERER!!! The sausage is good though. Give me give me give me…

I am high after that. Till now, i still can’t sleep. Hmmm, Papa you sure it’s just the deworm pill?

Papa Chan, godpa and godma brought me to the vet yesterday. It was cool… untill the doc was here, of course.

They found my pets in me, you know, those long long slimy one, sometimes it’s the fat and shorty one. So, i have to see a doc. The clinic is nice, lots of doggies and cat too. I tried to be friendly to the cat, after all i’m half cousin to her. But cat being cat, she’s a snob. Bye bye Kittie!

The doc is a pretty lady and she has lots of interesting stuff there. I checked them out while she’s talking to the oldies. I’m healthy, according to her, except a vaccine jab, some deworm tablet and my ears are growing mushrooms. Da*n, She’s good at reading me.

OOOOOO…. it’s like an ant bite and next thing i knew, it’s over. Got some medication for my mushrooms. Bye bye doc, though you’re cute but I dont think i wanna see you often.

Papa Chan, Stop looking at her and let’s go home. Godpa, you too.

Yesterday was the happiest day of the week, unless some other happening stuff happen today or tomorrow.

Godma is out of work. Da*n, she’ll be at home everyday till the next job comes. Anyway, that’s why she’s happy. Usually when she’s happy, i get lots of food and less humiliation as a JRT, she doesn’t get me to do stupid stuff as often as when she’s bored.

“Momo, come, biscuit for you.” *Burp*
“Momo, come, Bread” *Burp*
There’s a plot against me, i can sense it. Strong evil forces it is…

Aunty Yueping is in too, cause she also…. “Momo, come, Bread” Muahahhahaha… give me give me give me…

In the night, godma appointed me to be the messanger. She said i have to make myself useful. Godma, I am the surveillance officer of the house, the garbage chute inspector, the entertainer, the clown, and now you want me to be the messanger?? Sob… why do i have to be a dog??

Godma gave me a red bag, put a kitchen scale in, asked me to deliver to godpa who’s been washing and fixing the old mute, iron horse. Hew.. at least she didn’t ask me to build a pyramid for her like godpa.

Well, the pay is good. I get brown rice with fish. I jumped on the table, grab that piece of fish but Godpa caught me. Meow, GODPA, that’s mine, get from your own plate! Godma said that’s MOMO’s share… Anyway, i was still whacked by them as i didn’t wait for the food to cool. *burp* that a good fishie…

“Momo, now you’re fat little bitch. you know, fat little bitch” Come on, i only had 2 piece of bread, 5 biscuit, half plate of my usual food, 1 plate of rice with fish, some other stuff that i picked up when she-devil’s cooking, and now you call me a fat little bitch.

Godpa measured my waistline, it reads, 16″.

Ehhh, GOD, can i use my sixth wish now???

Er Hem… Good day everyone, I’m Momo Chan, you may call me MC. I’m the new superstar and will be the greatest Diva in years to come.

Early morning sunday, 5am.
Godpa, Godma and Papa Chan brought me to a road cycling race. You know, the weird looking iron horse whose legs are round and never spoken a word despite me talking to him everyday.

Anyway, there were lots and lots of people there. Gogo Kit, Gogo kelvin, Geoff and there’s an uncle wildcat. I wonder if he’s related to me. Like i’m a cat dog, he might be a cat human. Hmmmm….

There’s a fountain there and as usual, crazy godma got up too early in the morning, she got me doing my “car wiper” act. Stupid hands, Stop it… Sob sob… Godpa, Papa… HELP!!!! She-devil is disgracing me in front of hundreds of people….

Well, when the race started, Godpa went on the bike, not the iron horse but the stronger iron ox. Hmm, he looked kind of sexy in that helmet, ( from the volvo ad). Papa Chan went off to somewhere, taking pictures but i know he just wanna see if got chio babes around.. aihhhh… Man…*shaking head*

I asked Godma if i can take a walk, actually i wanna see if I’m faster than the iron horse. So off we went. Hew.. hew.. hew… Godma.. you sure this is the right way??? I’ve seen Godpa passed us more than 20 times. You sure this is the right way?? Stupid birds.. stop laughing at me… Wait..wait till my Bday wishes got through to God (transmission traffic conjested this few days).

” So Cuteeeeee…… Is she a Jack Russell?” Come on, of course, I’m not the dumb looking chiwawa. I might look a bit like the cat, but i’m really a jack russell, i think. Then Godma carried on introducing me, telling them all the stupid and embarassing things. It’s alright, they just LOVE me…

After the walk, I was wanted for the photo. I’m the newly appointed Mascot for Godpa’s team. Pictures and pictures were taken. Everyone wants me. I feel proud. Muah ahahahhaha, stupid horns, get down first, i need to look like an angel now.

It’s been a long day. I’m terribly tired after all the interviews, catwalks, photo shooting sessions, advertisement shots…

She- devil, i’ll sleep first while you schedule my timing. Make sure, my boney biscuit is ready when i’m awake. zzz… zzzz.. OOUCH! (knock on the head from godma)

Continuing from the previous episode, “MC’s birthday party”

Papa Chan came to pick us up for my birthday party at Uncle Tong’s place.
Godma dressed me up in the pink halterneck and gave me a ribbon hat. I felt like a lady. Even papa chan said so, though he was laughing and rolling on the floor. I’m sure it’s because I look good.

” Oh my god, momo’s wearing a dress! ” * she’s so cute* First reaction from everyone. Baby felt it too, cause she started biting at my ribbon. Kekekekeke…. Baby, you’ll get one too.

Abby and rocky were not there. According to aunty amelia, they haven’t been bathing for sometimes. Hmm… too bad, i shall have the food and cake with baby then. Rocky, see… you’ve missed out the chance to date with the happiest and prettiest bitch around the blocks.

Aunty Tong cooked good food. I can smell it under the table. Can i join you all on the table? Can I can i?? While the human were piging in on the table, we were enjoying our chicken drumstick too. Yum yum yum… After dinner, dessert was served, my birthday cake. Baby, keep your tongue off my cake! we’ll get our shares after I have blown off the candle. It reads, MC, MomoChan.

I’m happy. Lots of food, birthday cake, new dresses, lots of loves and hugs… It’s my B Day!!!

Today’s my birthday!!!! I’m 21 years old! In human’s eye, I’m only 3 years old but in the doggies’ world, i’m officially a grown- up. Muah ahahahahha…..

Last night Godma made me new biscuits, carrot biscuit. While she was preparing the ingredient, i stole, eehh, took a stalk of carrot and she didn’t notice it. Great Thief of the era has once again showed her incredible skill. By the time Godma realised her carrot was gone, half was already in my stomach. *Burp*

Godma made me a new dress. It’s a halter-neck and it’s PINK again. She dressed me up and put a ribbon over me. I know i know godma, I’m cute, dont have to repeat that for 5 mins. I can see Godpa shaking his head, Crazy Godma. Good Luck! Godpa, when it’s your birthday, I’m sure Godma will dress you up in pink too. I’ll have my laugh too then. Hmmmm….. Maybe i really look good in pink. I’ll ask baby, rocky and abby later tonight.

Godma says we’re going Uncle and Aunty Tong’s place tonight. It’s my birthday and they’re celebrating for me. Papa chan, Aunty Amelia and a lot of others too.. YIPPIE!!!!! I’m the happiest bitch in the world!!!

Can I make my birthday wish?

God, My wish is to have another 10 more wishes.

First, I wish for world peace
Second, I wish for health and happiness for everyone
Third, I wish for peace in the house, Godma is sane and Godpa recover from godma’s madness.
Fourth, I wish to get unlimited life-time supplies of boney biscuit
Fifth, I wish I can catch the stupid birdie for once
Sixth, seventh, eighth, ninth and tenth,…

God, can credit it to my account first?

I’m depressed. Rocky went out with baby, sob sob…rocky… why did you do that to me???? sob sob… nevermind, I’ll be going to the beach this sat. I’m getting myself a new boyfriend. Hmm, like Godma says, no point crying over spilled milk, just lick it up.

But now, i have to find a cure for my ten nipples, or is it eight? I can’t see it myself.

Well, Godma was off again in the afternoon. She’s back home and doing her crazy stuff again. I was just taking my usual nap and nuahing around. Well, maybe she knew i was aiming at the books, it just tastes all so nice, especially when you’re bored. Maybe it was because of the kangaroo pencil that i chewed the other days, maybe it was because i’ve been hiding under the table, maybe, maybe… I dont know. BUT, GODMA YOU DONT HAVE TO PUT PRICKLY HEAT ON MY NIPPLES!!!

Crazy godma and Godpa has been infested by her craziness too. First, Godpa commented i need a bath cause i stink. Come on Grandpa, i smell good. I dont need perfume, i’m a naturalist, remember. Then Godma says, maybe prickly heat will cover the smell for a while. After all, I’ll be bathed later tonight after the walk. I was happy, prickly heat, hmmm… something new… 🙂

So, there, I got it. HOT HOT COOL.. weird feeling. ARGHHHH.. my nipples. I tried licking them. My magical all-purpose saliva should ease me, i hope. BUT now, my tongue feels it too. ARGhhh…. EVIL Godma and godpa were laughing out loud.. Muah ahahahahahahah
What’s so funny? ARGhhhhhhhhh…….

HELP! My nipples are COLD….