Woof…Meow…Woof…

What a day!

I have officially received my PR status of Normanton Park and Kent Ridge Park. Permanent Resident and the Park Ranger. Godpa and Godma has applied for my PR status for NP and finally we got the confirmation. YIPPIE! and they are now promoted as my pa and ma. Well, She-devil is always a she-devil BUT.. now i have a he-devil too… No worries, I’ll use my teethie and growls at him.

She-devil has been busy… rather extremely busy. But she’s my ma, at least she feed me before she go out to work. You know, do silly things to get $$, god knows what that is.. but i get my food.. kekekekeke…
I have just realised that he-devil is the real devil. He makes me work.. now he found a new job for me.. PR – PARK RANGER.. can you imagine, i have to take care of 70 ha of land and i am also the mascot for the trail. I have to walk and guard the park, working 3 hours a day. No evian mineral water, only longkang water… though he-devil says it’s natural spring water, but he’s dumb. Singapore, where got spring water? The water never jumps… the spring spoilt liaw.

Anyway, let me tell you what happened yesterday. I thought i saw a stupid bird! Well, i did, i did… It is a stupid bird!!! KILL!! Well, he-devil got it before me.. Woof woof woof.. stupid pa.. LET ME HAVE IT!! LET ME!!

Hmm…. they put it back to the tv.. i saw it.. he puts the birdie into the tv… the animal planet show… you know.. it’s in that black square box… wait a minute.. it’s in the green hamster cage.. no… it’s in the black box… Arghhh… where is it… where is it.. i must find it before she-devil do.. Come on birdie, chip chip chip.. good birdie….. come out… before she-devil is back and eat you as dinner, i’ll eat.. ops.. er, save you…. cheap cheap cheap…

Anyway, i’ll guard the hamster cage.. NO TRANSPASSING! Arghhh… woof… especially the he-devil….

By the way, I just realised i worth a million bucks… someone post my photo up… maybe it’s he-devil… i know he wanted to kidnap me for a long time.. it’s ok.. i’ll show him the PR power later… POWER RANGER!!

It was my half cousin meow’s birthday. They came over to celebrate and godma has informed me to behave well and wish him birthday greetings. So i did my usual lion dance, MEOW… He’s so much older, just look at the number of candles. I am much cuter than him, more fur than him and most of all, i’m a bitch. BUT, he got a bigger birthday cake than me!!!

Oh well, I’m sure it’s because he speaks their language, walk, dress and behave like them as well. But, cousin, be yourself! You’re half a cat… meow….

While they are happily singing their song and eating, I did my MC famous stealing stunt. I took a bite of the cake.. Hmmm… GODMA, you definitely dont like me as much… His cake is sweeter than mine. I’m jealous!!!! Be impartial, or else i will turn my back against you! But before that, can i have another bite???

AIHHHH, i’m all so tired…

This afternoon, she-devil wanna go for a run and I wanna go too!!! But it turns out to be a hell experience. We went to the park behind, on the way we met lisa, the collie. She’s ok, she’s on leash.

BUT, I was off the leash for a run!!! YIPPIE!!!
I run and run and run!!! FREEDOM at last!
Somehow, she-devil was in good mood, I better not push my lucks too far.
Untill, i saw something in the jungle. It’s their base… I smelled it..
Stupid Birds!!! ATTACK!!!!

I was called and dragged out by she-devil. She gave me a good whack on my cute cute butts and Boo hoo hoo.. she made me climb hills…

I’m so Tired… just so tired…
I want a good scrub, a good bath and a good massage!!!

Morning Class, Welcome back.
Today Master Momo chan shall talk about the relationship of Man, Woman and Bitch.

Stay tune.

Senario 1: Call Back
Man: ” Bitch, Come back!”
Bitch: Act blur, will come back if you have food in hand
Woman: “Who are you calling?”

Senario 2: Food
Woman: “Dinner time!”
Bitch: “WOOF… WOOF” It’s mine, it’s Mine. ALL MINE! I’ll Dance for you, I’ll do anything for you, just give it to me…
Man: Again… Chopping everything up and dump them in a pot is not a stew. When will she ever learn? “Yes, darling, coming”

Senario 3: Sleep
Man: Snoring
Woman: Lord, can you turn off the thunder?
Bitch: sleep… you’re feeling sleepy.. sleep… then i can go out and play.

Senario 4: Play
Man: Beer in hand, in front of comp
Woman: All dress up, ready to party. PLAY
Bitch: “Dont let me get you, you stupid tail. Who’s the boss? ME!”

Senario 5: Feeling Blue/ Sad
Man: Beers in hand, in front of comp
Woman: “Sob sob.. why must they do all these to me. I’m just a woman!” Let’s go shopping!
Bitch: “Har, what’s that?”

Senario 6: Feeling Red/ Happy
Man: Beers in hand, in front of comp. Sometime with friends
Woman: Smiling and smiling… some might thought she’s a goner but she’s really just happy.
Bitch: ” MUAH AHAHAHAHAHAHA! I’m the bitch of the world!”

Time’s up. Time for breaky.

Godma and godpa went out for fun with 5 dogs. I smelled it. How dare them?

How could they went out with 5 dogs, 3 guys and 2 bitches, WITHOUT me???

Meow.. woof…

Wooooooooof,

People love me, they just love me. Muahahahahaha…….

Haven’t have the chance to use the computer for the past weeks as She-devil was busy (dont know busy for what?) Anyway, I’m back…

Well, it’s been routine. Everyday seems to be the same.

I now have a “legal” pet, xiao hei. She devil got this black little rat for me who doesn’t need to eat. I doubt it’s real though it moves when you push or wind it. It looks sort of cute initially but after awhile, it just pulls my “meow” nature out.

I GOT TO KILL… KILL KILL…

And now, it has one eye and one ear, half blind and half deaf.

“xiao hei, xiao hei, can you hear me?? xiao hei, i’m here… can you see??” I sound a bit like the crocodile but the sand just got into my eyes. sob….

Godma, am i good enough to be the next devil??

MEOW…….

I found a new hobby now, training.
NAH, not those kind of training. Training my Godma, she-devil.

She’s really a receptive trainee, i must say.

Training number 1: Massage
First, you’ll need to scratch your body, do a bit of biting and act like there’s some pets on you. You’ll get a free body massage. Then slowly close your eyes, like you really enjoy it. She-devil will just carry on for you. Ahhhh, good gal.

Training number 2: Food
When you need food, look at she-devil and bark. Look deep into her and say food. Though all she hears is just a bark but after a while, she’ll get it. If the barking fails, go and bark at the windows, try to look really busy searching for something, barks along the way. Within 3 seconds, you’ll hear, “Momo, Come here, food”. It works almost everytime, but do watch out. Sometime, it’s a cane that’s waiting for you.

Training number 3: Food from her plate
When she-devil is eating, sit near her. Look at her with a pitiful look (this one need a bit of training), look cute and never give up.

Training number 4: Out of the room
Just pee. She’ll need to get the mop and clean up.

Training number 5: Play
Chew her hands and legs, bark and roll over. She’ll get it. Dont over do it. She gets very excited and start going wild.

Training number 6: Bath
This is easy, just go under the bike and get some chain marks.

That’s all for the day, class. Come back again for more. For the moment, let the doggies’ power unite. WOOOOF

Finally, i got to go sentosa!
On saturday, Papa Chan came and picked us up. Me, Papa Chan, Godpa, Godma, Uncle and Aunty Tong, seven of us, went to sentosa. It’s a man-made island across the big island.

The sun was sunny, rather hot…, beaches, babes, hunks and doggies. There were some really big sized uncles walking around with their iron ox.

Hooooooo oooooooooo, can i join in for the BBQ??
ok, We’ll have a portion of grilled momo’s hind leg.
I mean me eating, not be eaten, stupid godma.

Anyway, after we set up the stuff, papa chan, godma, uncle and aunty Tong went for a swim while godpa and I suntanning and be the watchdog. They were slow, especially the crazy one. I got a little bit worried for the fresh water fishie as i can see she struggling. So, I signalled to one of my men on the beach, you know, the one in yellow and red with a bouy, to watch out. He followed them throughout. On the way back, godma decided to call it off, she swam to the shore and walked back. Smart choice, I dont want to come to sentosa every year on the same day and bring your favourite chocolate for you.

After the swim, Uncle and Aunty Tong carried on with their biking. Papa chan and Godma brought me down for a swim. Didn’t want to, but I can’t say no, they got my ball ball. Stupid Godma kidnapped my ball ball!!!

Hoof Hoof sob sob hooof, when will this ever end? Godma, my ball ball is drowning, can’t you see she drank too much water?

I can’t touch the floor and yucks, the water is salty. Stop asking me to swim to and fro, I’m scared… Booo Hooo Hoooo.. godpa, help!!!

Finally it was over, for a while.
Oh no, they’re changing shift. Now godma guards the stuff and godpa come dowm with his camera.

OK OK, for the sake of the Woof’s cover. Godpa, make sure you caught me in action and in style, WOOOFFF

Papa, you dont have to throw me in the air for the shot right? And even if you have to, can you please catch me?

I’m a superstar and i’m a babe magnet too. Babes and hunks think i’m cute. Muah ahahahahhaha, they can’t stand the look of my eyes.

After they have done their biking and running, it’s time to go home.
Bye bye sentosa, I’ll see you another day. I better catch some of my beauty sleep. ZZZZZZZ

Hoof hoof hoof, to your left… to your right… right in your face…
Pin you down! 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 I win !

Woooooof…. crazy godma.. wait.. my dragon Z power… Woooooof…

I found new stuff to do nowadays…WWF showing everyday. I’m now training my left kicks and right kicks and especially my teeth power…

Crazy godma, cheater godma, when you lose, you’ll just bring out the stupid cane.
Cheater, dont bride me with the tummy rub.

Godpa, can you please make sure godma eats her medicine?

And i want to complain too, the torn comforter sheet was all because of the crazy woman, not me. She wrapped me with that like a burrito, i need to break free. I swear i have nothing to do with burrito, i mean the comforter. But i have to admit i have a part in pulling her horns out.

God, will she-devil ever be sane?

Never

I have a crazy family and they dont love me as much now.

Godpa thinks i understand him, telling me to sit and give him paw every time. Come on, where’s the carrot, i mean food…

Godma is crazy, trying to wrestle me everyday and every now and then. Come on.. I’m a dog, godma, wake up…

Papa Chan doesn’t love me as much now. Coming to see me is just a “hi, you got fatter!” Sob.. i’m not cute anymore?

Aunty amelia doesn’t come and see me as often now. Rocky and abby are cuter than me too?

Gogo Kit wanna be my son. But he’s my gogo. Another gone case.

Baby is going to the beach more often than me, the bunnies and cats are outside playing. I wanna jump off the window but we’re on the third floor.

My life has changed after they bought me the cane. I can’t bark as i want to, i can’t pee at where i want to. I have to behave myself. Wait…. I’ll chew you up one day, cane.

For now, Godpa, can i have the bread in your hand? I promise to sit and try to give you paw… Woof…